Recently, it was brought to Little Burrito's attention that in Spanish, Burrito, means little donkey. With that it would reflexively seem that "Little" Burrito would be a sort-of redundant term. However, Little Burrito is neither Spanish nor redundant. He's also not quite so little. The son of Great-Muscular Burrito and Dainty-Beautiful Burrita, Little Burrito was born into humble circumstances. By the age of two weeks, Little Burrito was making his parents proud, gaining weight, and growing ever so quickly. Doctors were amazed at his progress, for as mentioned before, the affliction of Elephant Trunk of Eerie Art continued to burden Little Burrito, if not in an outright physical way, in a most definite affective way. I suppose Elephant Trunk of Eerie Art deserves more of an introduction since it will most definitely thicken the plot.
Elephant Trunk of Eerie Art is a nuisance that has plagued humans for as long as humans can remember. It was first recorded in the days of the Homo sapiens of the Paleolithic era. Back in those days, it was noticed that babies born in caves decorated with strange paintings of Oliphants would often suffer an initial shock so scarring that it would manifest itself in rapid breathing and general discontent. The paintings of Oliphants, especially those with curvy trunks, illuminated by the flames of an open fire would often appear to come alive to the little newborns and stir in them such an adventerous desire that they could not bear to remain in their little nook. Over the course of several months, they would languish, longing ever-so deeply to roam with the Oliphants. As they grew, the ritualistically painted Oliphants would continually beckon them. Shimmering in the nightly fires, they would seem to curl their trunks out to the child, as if imbibing in them a fervent desire to flee the cave. The Homo sapiens of that era failed to recognize the effect that the paintings would have. Father Homo sapiens would consult the Witch-doctor Homo sapiens, who would dress up like a great Oliphant and perform a magical dance at the bedside of the little newborn. This would only advance in the newborn the yearning for the open fields that the Oliphants roamed in. Soon enough, the newborns would answer the call of the Oliphants and leave their caves for the paintings. Father and Mother Homo sapiens would then ritualistically paint the memory of their little one on the cave wall, right next to the Oliphant, where he or she had always wanted to roam.
And so it went for years. Soon, humans left the caves for better shelters. But not before the effect of Oliphant paintings had been recorded and documented. The name Elephant Trunk of Eerie Art remained, long after humans left the caves for better shelter in huts and tents. Strange Oliphants continued to haunt humans, even without the paintings, and little newborns would regularly be afflicted by the strange attraction that the Oliphants expressed. By the time of the Caesars, it had adopted a Latin name - Truncus Arteriosus - which it maintained, except for the farthest regions of Siberia and Scotland, which still refer to it as Elephant Trunk of Eerie Art. By the middle ages, it was noticed that rapid breathing was a definite precursor to the calling of the Oliphants to better pastures. By the French revolution, it was said by Marie Antoinette, "Then let the Oliphants come!" All seemed quite hopeless until the middle of the twentieth century, when doctors discovered that they could in fact reverse the effects that the initial shock had had on the little child's heart. You see, the heart jumps when afflicted by the Oliphants, and when it jumps, it mixes up how it was exactly put together and becomes discombobulated. With the proper un-discombobulation procedure, twentieth century doctors discovered that the call of the Oliphants can be silenced and the heart can rest easily. Even now, in the twenty-first century, doctors are still performing the un-discombobulation procedure to dozens of newborns a year. And with great success! Oliphants are responsible for calling only 5% of afflicted children to greener grazing pastures. Ah, what medical advances! It is noted, however, that despite the surgeons' most expertly enacted procedures, the call of the Oliphants is not completely silenced. Children with Truncus Arteriosus are routinely characterized by a continued adventerous spirit. That, despite medicine's best efforts, has not been able to be silenced.
And so Little Burrito's heart is about to be un-discombobulated. His fate will not be to roam with the Oliphants quite yet. Instead, he has work to do right here, in the twenty-first century. He has to make stories, be an inspiration, achieve great feats, marvel and be marveled by, conquer great heights, discover hidden truths, uncover mysteries, answer many calls, and be loved and love in return. There is much to be done in this twenty-first century. So, un-discombobulation, here we come.
